Congratulations for making it this far in life, varsity is a huge step from high school. You meet lots of people; you make friends and boyfriends, in the process of forming these relationships I think one needs a little bit of guidance along the way. I would like to focus mainly on the issue of choosing the right boyfriend. Take this as an advice from an older version yourself. I can see so much of me in you, I was once a naïve little girl just like you and I fell in love not once but twice. It didn’t work out because I didn’t how relationships work; I let guys treat me wrong. I made huge mistakes when it came to guys and I wouldn’t you to go down the same route that I did. I know you are afraid and you don’t want to be alone, the truth is you are not alone.
Choosing a boyfriend is not easy, especially at varsity. First and foremost don’t get a boyfriend just because everyone has one, get one because you want one. Love yourself before you love anyone else. Find someone who will love for being you, someone who will respect you, if he doesn’t leave him. Don’t be his second best, he’s not worth if he doesn’t have eyes only for you and you know that you are better than that. Don’t settle for anything less than that or else you will do that for the rest of your life.
You are not obligated to him; you don’t owe any man anything. Do not rush into things that you are not ready for, just because you want to please him. Don’t let him rule your life. Don’t act all stupid for him, don’t miss lectures because of him because he will graduate and leave you, don’t depend on him. Lastly don’t let him rule your life; no man is worth that much.
Hope that this letter opens up your eyes and it helps you find the one.
With purest love.
Zinzi
Friday, September 26, 2008
Warning! love yourself before anyone else...
Smile with a friend or cry on your own...
To little me
So you are all set and ready to enter the big world of university. This experience can be a very exciting one if you turn it into a journey. Here is something for you to think about, something I have found out for myself.
Homesickness and the nervousness is a natural stage, but one that is quite easily overcome when in university and this is helped by the amazing creatures that we call friends Without them your time could be lonely, sad and tough, trust me, I’ve been through it. I remember always saying that I will forever have my high school friends and will always keep in contact with them but the friends you make at university are different. These friends eventually become your family because you are living with them and you spend most of your time with them. They are a very important asset in your journey so keep them close to you. They will be there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, a face to smile with, a joke to laugh at and an ear to listen. They will also be the friends with whom you enter the big world and you will find yourself sharing everything together. This bond, however, does not snap into place as you walk through the door. It takes time to find the special ones and you will find them in your res, in lectures, and maybe even at the Rat and Parrot during that usual R10 draft. You will come to know that these friends are also there to look out for wherever you may be. It is always good to have someone you trust with you to make sure you get home safely and who always knows where you are so if you need to you have someone to call, no matter the time, they will be on standby for you. They also seem to help when your alarm clock doesn’t go off, as we all know that happens. So look after them, treat them well, and always cherish them.
You are going to love it here, and always remember, you can never have too many friends.
Your friend
Leanne
So you are all set and ready to enter the big world of university. This experience can be a very exciting one if you turn it into a journey. Here is something for you to think about, something I have found out for myself.
Homesickness and the nervousness is a natural stage, but one that is quite easily overcome when in university and this is helped by the amazing creatures that we call friends Without them your time could be lonely, sad and tough, trust me, I’ve been through it. I remember always saying that I will forever have my high school friends and will always keep in contact with them but the friends you make at university are different. These friends eventually become your family because you are living with them and you spend most of your time with them. They are a very important asset in your journey so keep them close to you. They will be there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, a face to smile with, a joke to laugh at and an ear to listen. They will also be the friends with whom you enter the big world and you will find yourself sharing everything together. This bond, however, does not snap into place as you walk through the door. It takes time to find the special ones and you will find them in your res, in lectures, and maybe even at the Rat and Parrot during that usual R10 draft. You will come to know that these friends are also there to look out for wherever you may be. It is always good to have someone you trust with you to make sure you get home safely and who always knows where you are so if you need to you have someone to call, no matter the time, they will be on standby for you. They also seem to help when your alarm clock doesn’t go off, as we all know that happens. So look after them, treat them well, and always cherish them.
You are going to love it here, and always remember, you can never have too many friends.
Your friend
Leanne
Being a Salad Queen- Why Becoming Slave to A Monster Will Not Help You
Dear Meg
I want to warn you of a danger that exists not in the dark corners of campus, but inside yourself. You will get to university and the excitement of being at Rhodes will not always overcome feelings of home sickness and loneliness. You might notice that your thighs look bigger than they used to, and that your cheeks are looking a bit pudgy, and you consider skipping a few meals. After doing so, you might feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in yourself and it is very possible that you may slip down the trampled path of eating disorders and depression, where acceptance comes with being underweight and carbohydrates are the enemy. It may seem like the easiest thing to do, and eventually you may start liking yourself more every time you lose a kilogram.
Anorexia will never be your friend- it is a monster that wears the guise of a happy woman who is perfect because she is thin. Anorexia will creep up on you and before you know it, it will not let you eat, let you live or let you be comfortable with yourself. Anorexia will not only kill your body, it will kill your spirit, leaving you an empty shell that exists only on the scales in the gym.
Believe in yourself and the strength that you possess and you will stay away from this monster that hides itself in meal plans and diet pills. You are better than it and you can fight it. Never forget that my friend.
Much Love,
Meg
GET OUT OF BED AND GET INVOLVED!
Dearest Little Lucy
It was the third day of 0-week and all I could feel were the late nights pushing my eyelids down. If I had realized how thirsty I would have been that morning I might have in fact drunk even more the night before. The senior student banging on my door did not realize that every knock sounded like a bomb exploding on the inside of my ear. I very hesitantly sat up, much to my body’s disgust, and tried to way up the pros and cons of leaving my bed (a process which often appeared to lean towards the con side of things!). You will most likely be in this very situation.
Your house committee who are slightly ahead of sleep and a little less nervous than you will try desperately to convince you that six am serenading to a group of smelly first year boys, although not compulsory, is “tons of fun” and a “good group bonding time” where really the only bonding you will wish to do is with your bed. So what do you do?
GET OUT OF BED AND GET SINGING!
Getting involved in res activities, as seemingly difficult as they might be at the time, makes it impossible not to make friends. Something like serenading requires little work and supplies a surprising amount of fun. I know you get nervous to get involved in new things but if you could see the wonderful friendships you will form you would not let a few butterflies and a bad headache get in your way.
These activities continue all through the year in all different areas including academics, cultural, sporting and social events and are surely the number one way to make friends. Don’t be afraid to get involved, this is the year to do as much as you possibly can with as many people as you possibly can.
Your older self with loving advice,
Lucy xxx
It was the third day of 0-week and all I could feel were the late nights pushing my eyelids down. If I had realized how thirsty I would have been that morning I might have in fact drunk even more the night before. The senior student banging on my door did not realize that every knock sounded like a bomb exploding on the inside of my ear. I very hesitantly sat up, much to my body’s disgust, and tried to way up the pros and cons of leaving my bed (a process which often appeared to lean towards the con side of things!). You will most likely be in this very situation.
Your house committee who are slightly ahead of sleep and a little less nervous than you will try desperately to convince you that six am serenading to a group of smelly first year boys, although not compulsory, is “tons of fun” and a “good group bonding time” where really the only bonding you will wish to do is with your bed. So what do you do?
GET OUT OF BED AND GET SINGING!
Getting involved in res activities, as seemingly difficult as they might be at the time, makes it impossible not to make friends. Something like serenading requires little work and supplies a surprising amount of fun. I know you get nervous to get involved in new things but if you could see the wonderful friendships you will form you would not let a few butterflies and a bad headache get in your way.
These activities continue all through the year in all different areas including academics, cultural, sporting and social events and are surely the number one way to make friends. Don’t be afraid to get involved, this is the year to do as much as you possibly can with as many people as you possibly can.
Your older self with loving advice,
Lucy xxx
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